Parker, Parker, Parker

Personal rant ahead.... I think it will important in the future to have proper documentation of our life at this stage, for good and for bad. If I only post pics when our hair is done or stories of how happy we are, how will I ever appreciate the times of trial and the lessons I have learned along the way?

After having a very calm and collected morning at my mom's house, I took charge of Parker in time to play at home some and then head to Wee Sing. He was doing pretty well at home, playing imaginatively with Austin. Once he put on a cape, he did start to dart around the room more and erupt in a kind of growling noise, but all was well and mostly well intentioned. Then we went to Wee Sing and he lost it. I'm going to blame being over tired from the time change, but that boy could not sit still or follow directions for the life of him. As I've been reading and counseled by so many wise mothers, I tried to remain calm and kept returning him to sit on his music note with his name on it. One time when he was running circles around the room, I scooped him up and hugged him tightly and talked to him in the other room asking him if he would like to leave or follow Aunt Denise's directions. He said he wanted to stay but it was tough to the end.

While I knew a nap would serve him well, he put up a fight, of course, but is now sleeping peacefully. In his prayer he said, "Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for this day. Thank you for my blessings. I pray that when I will wake up I will be a very naughty boy, very very naughty. And that I can play with play dough. Amen." I don't label him as naughty but talk a lot about good choices and naughty choices. I hope and pray that he will develop an accurate self-concept that he is good and lovable even when his choices are not. He's young, but so impressionable. It breaks my heart to see him struggling to communicate and deal with his emotions. I can see that he feels out of control and there is something behind his out of control body and rages. I just don't know what it is or how to help him. Perhaps this effort on my part to stay calm, speak with compassion, and help offer tools to him to bring calm and peace to his mind and body will help. I have found myself in the past yelling "Stop YELLING!" How ironic. If I am not modeling calm, coping skills, how can Parker ever learn them?

My mom sent me a great article found by Dr. Laura Markham. I really agree with her parenting philosophy and many of the issues we've faced in our house have been addressed on her site. Here's a quote from an awesome article.

"That's the unconditional love that we all know every child needs. When we love them even while they're raging, or needy, or demanding. When we see past the bad behavior to the overwhelmed, frightened child underneath.  When we listen, difficult feelings and all, instead of sending them away until they can "act right."  When we help them with their emotions first, and then wait until they're calm and can actually learn before we talk about appropriate behavior.

Research shows that when parents regulate their own emotions and accept their child's emotions, the child learns to manage his or her feelings and behavior earlier than other kids. They're closer to their parents through the teen years and beyond.  They're more skilled at calming themselves, and handle stress better, both as kids and as adults."